Happy Labor Day

It is Labor Day weekend and I am laboring. Writing is not so hard, but sitting in the chair is. Apparently other writers thought that writing was difficult. Here are a few examples:

"Let's face it, writing is hell." - William Styron

"Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead."
- Gene Fowler

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." - Ernest Hemingway

"Writing is a dreadful labor, yet not so dreadful as Idleness." - Thomas Carlyle

Since I don’t think writing is too awfully hard, it probably means I am a mediocre writer. That’s okay, I’d rather be an ordinary writer and still bask in the pleasure it brings me. If I ever get so good that I feel like I am hemorrhaging, go ahead and cauterize my brain.

Dem Dashes

In the past year I have spent a surprising amount of time either looking up or discussing dashes. Yes, dashes: hyphens, em dashes, and en dashes. Or put another way—hyphens, em dashes, and en dashes.

Before I write about the differences between the three, permit me to say the obvious; don’t I have better things to do? Do I have so much free time that I can spend it pouring over the pages of The Chicago Manual of Style?

I am not really a grammar geek. I rely heavily on the graciousness of others who paid attention in English class. However, it drives my editor nuts when I use the wrong key on my computer, leaving him to have to use a magnifying glass to proof my newsletter column.

I provided a link (Get it Write) so you can get a good explanation of the differences between the three, but here is a basic explanation:

• A hyphen is the shortest of the dashes and it is usually used between numbers (like your phone number) or to connect words, such as mean-spirited.
• The en dash is slightly longer than the hyphen. It replaces the word through, such as Monday – Friday.
• The em dash is the longest of the dashes and creates a break in a thought—such as this sentence—in order to separate a phrase.

And that is all I am saying about dashes for the rest of the year, unless I am talking about dashing through the snow or dashing off to a show.

Torturing Phrases

I revel in the prospect of being able to torture a phrase once more.  — S. J. Perelman

My best friend teaches grammar, and I have learned more from her about grammar than I ever learned in school. This week she gave me a lesson in commas. She wrote, “FANBOYS. That stands for for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so.  When you have two clauses connected by one of those conjunctions, you use a comma.  Example:  I like chocolate, and I like vanilla, too.  I like chocolate, but I don't like vanilla. The important thing to remember is that a clause has a subject and a verb. If there's no subject and verb, it's not a clause, and you probably don't need a comma.”

This is what I love about her—she makes it so simple. Unfortunately, when it comes to putting her lessons into practice, I fall back on old habits. It’s just easier to hope that someone else will catch my mistakes before they are published rather than to look up everything. That sounds awful, but it is the simple truth. I am just way too busy writing to learn how to write well.

Because I torture the English language, does this mean I am a linguistical sadist or a sadistic linguist?

Images

"To write is a humiliation." -  Edward Dahlberg

Some of you noticed my new photo, taken by Alicia Berardi of Ivy Photographers. It will be the photo for my book cover and promotion. My youngest stepson James said, “This looks like it belongs on the inside jacket of a New York Times bestseller.” Now that is what I call positive thinking.

I have mixed feelings about the photo. It seems very mature, as in conservative, middle-aged, middle class, WASP. It did not help that my very best friend in the world, the kind of friend that you want to have because she is the kind of friend who would tell you that you are getting fat and would notice if there is hair growing out of your ears, asked me if I wanted feedback on the photo. We’ve known each other almost 50 years, so I knew that she didn’t like the photo, so I declined the offer.

What I like about the photo, is that it matches how I see myself. It is neither better than I look, nor worse than I look, it just is. Sure, the frizzy hair was photo-shopped out, but basically, I am a head in my hand, smiling kind of girl.

What does this have to do with writing? Everything. The moment we put ourselves out there in print, weather as our creation, or a photograph of the manifestation of our DNA, we are vulnerable. Edward Dahlberg’s statement, “To write is a humiliation” rings true on some level. For me, the bottom line is this: since I can’t imagine a life without writing, I might as well get over the humiliation of it. Besides, I am just not that important.

Public Speaking

The New York Times ran an article quoting a scientific study on why writers don’t make good speakers. It says that when we write, we use more of our brain. When we write, our thinking precedes our writing, but when we talk, we tend to just blurt. In other words, we speak without thinking, but when we write, we think before we write.

I agree with this, as I definitely speak without thinking. However, I have also been known to write without thinking. Hence, I have a policy of not responding to touchy emails without practicing some restraint. Twenty-four hours between bottle and throttle work for pilots; for me it is twenty-four hours between emails and send key.

As for public speaking, I have one word—Toastmasters. The most fun I have in my week is going to my local club. I can see huge changes in my speaking and listening skills. I do believe it is stretching me as a writer, too.

Anyone can visit their local meetings. Grass Valley has four clubs. Check out Toastmasters at www.toastmasters.org

What’s the Worst Thing about Being a Writer?

“I hate writing, but I love having written.” -  Dorothy Parker

This week I look at the dark side of writing. For me, the worst thing about writing is when I can’t do it. Generally this manifests in one of two ways. In one, I have the desire to write but I am in a place where it is inconvenient to do so. This may happen when I am driving, engaged in a social event that requires my attention, or just as my head hits the pillow. A poem or a story pops into my head, along with a longing to drop everything so I can write. It is like unrequited love; I feel the longing but I can’t do much about it.

The other frustration about writing is when I just can’t think of words. This week I hit this type of wall. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it is maddening. It’s like I had a stroke and I can’t find words. The remedy for this is to write anyway, and to ignore the form. For example, say I want to describe my experience climbing a mountain, but I am plagued by aphasia. I can start writing and labor over every word, but this usually end as being quite unproductive—much like a scratch on a record—I keep saying the same thing over again. It works best if instead, I plow ahead. I might write, “The mountain was xxx, and I loved breathing the cool air. My heart was beating fast, as I climbed the xxx path.” The x’s represent words I can’t think of and clearly the writing is crap. However, this method keeps me moving, and eventually I get past the stuck part. I can always clean up the style on the rewrite.

What don’t you like about being a writer?

What’s the Best Thing about Being a Writer?

“We work in the dark—we give what we can—we give what we have. Our doubt is our passion and our passion is our task. The rest is the madness of art.” - Henry James

Recently, Oprah magazine interviewed six writers. One of the interview questions was, “What’s the best thing about being a writer?” The answers varied. Mary Gaitskill replied, “The best thing about writing is being able to clearly express things in a way you can’t express in conversation.” Jeffrey Eugenides said, “It’s that, no matter how long you’ve been at it, you always start from scratch.”  Then Eugenides supplied the Henry James quote that I used above.

For me, the best thing about writing is the craft. Perhaps wordsmithing describes it best. It’s the organization, the choice, the tone, and the rhythm.  It is the play of vowel upon consonant, the thought which can be sculpted so many different ways, and the evolution of ideas. I just like to write.

What do you like about being a writer?