Hopelessly Writing

It’s been a busy week, so this will be shorter than short. I read this wonderful quote that sums me up and I am passing it along: “You see, in my view, a writer is a writer not because she writes well and easily, because she has amazing talent, because everything she does is golden. In my view a writer is a writer because even when there is no hope, even when nothing you do shows any sign of promise, you keep writing anyway.” – Junot Diaz, author of The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

I am still writing...

Procrastination Redux

"The thing all writers do best is find ways to avoid writing." — Alan Dean Foster

I was getting behind on my personal deadline that I set for writing my book. This morning I got up early and was making huge progress. I took a coffee break, which for me means stopping long enough to make a cup and then bring it to my desk. I spilled coffee on my keyboard, and while cleaning it out I was horrified. My mind starting imaging the cesspool that was under the keys—a place where my fingers virtually live—and I just HAD to clean it. Between toothpicks, cotton swabs and alcohol, I freshened the thing up.

Then I remembered this quote I heard this week, something about how all writers feel the urge to procrastinate. The successful writers are the ones that write despite the urges. It was stated more eloquently than this, so then I spent a bunch of time trying to find the quote. After looking through the magazines I read recently, I did an Internet search. When I put “writing procrastination” in the search field, there were more than a million results, and as much as I wanted to find that quote, I could not justify further procrastination. After all, didn’t I get the point of the quote?

So, I decided to blog about it. If I am going to procrastinate, I might as well turn the experience into material…

Happy Labor Day

It is Labor Day weekend and I am laboring. Writing is not so hard, but sitting in the chair is. Apparently other writers thought that writing was difficult. Here are a few examples:

"Let's face it, writing is hell." - William Styron

"Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead."
- Gene Fowler

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." - Ernest Hemingway

"Writing is a dreadful labor, yet not so dreadful as Idleness." - Thomas Carlyle

Since I don’t think writing is too awfully hard, it probably means I am a mediocre writer. That’s okay, I’d rather be an ordinary writer and still bask in the pleasure it brings me. If I ever get so good that I feel like I am hemorrhaging, go ahead and cauterize my brain.

Dem Dashes

In the past year I have spent a surprising amount of time either looking up or discussing dashes. Yes, dashes: hyphens, em dashes, and en dashes. Or put another way—hyphens, em dashes, and en dashes.

Before I write about the differences between the three, permit me to say the obvious; don’t I have better things to do? Do I have so much free time that I can spend it pouring over the pages of The Chicago Manual of Style?

I am not really a grammar geek. I rely heavily on the graciousness of others who paid attention in English class. However, it drives my editor nuts when I use the wrong key on my computer, leaving him to have to use a magnifying glass to proof my newsletter column.

I provided a link (Get it Write) so you can get a good explanation of the differences between the three, but here is a basic explanation:

• A hyphen is the shortest of the dashes and it is usually used between numbers (like your phone number) or to connect words, such as mean-spirited.
• The en dash is slightly longer than the hyphen. It replaces the word through, such as Monday – Friday.
• The em dash is the longest of the dashes and creates a break in a thought—such as this sentence—in order to separate a phrase.

And that is all I am saying about dashes for the rest of the year, unless I am talking about dashing through the snow or dashing off to a show.

Torturing Phrases

I revel in the prospect of being able to torture a phrase once more.  — S. J. Perelman

My best friend teaches grammar, and I have learned more from her about grammar than I ever learned in school. This week she gave me a lesson in commas. She wrote, “FANBOYS. That stands for for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so.  When you have two clauses connected by one of those conjunctions, you use a comma.  Example:  I like chocolate, and I like vanilla, too.  I like chocolate, but I don't like vanilla. The important thing to remember is that a clause has a subject and a verb. If there's no subject and verb, it's not a clause, and you probably don't need a comma.”

This is what I love about her—she makes it so simple. Unfortunately, when it comes to putting her lessons into practice, I fall back on old habits. It’s just easier to hope that someone else will catch my mistakes before they are published rather than to look up everything. That sounds awful, but it is the simple truth. I am just way too busy writing to learn how to write well.

Because I torture the English language, does this mean I am a linguistical sadist or a sadistic linguist?

Images

"To write is a humiliation." -  Edward Dahlberg

Some of you noticed my new photo, taken by Alicia Berardi of Ivy Photographers. It will be the photo for my book cover and promotion. My youngest stepson James said, “This looks like it belongs on the inside jacket of a New York Times bestseller.” Now that is what I call positive thinking.

I have mixed feelings about the photo. It seems very mature, as in conservative, middle-aged, middle class, WASP. It did not help that my very best friend in the world, the kind of friend that you want to have because she is the kind of friend who would tell you that you are getting fat and would notice if there is hair growing out of your ears, asked me if I wanted feedback on the photo. We’ve known each other almost 50 years, so I knew that she didn’t like the photo, so I declined the offer.

What I like about the photo, is that it matches how I see myself. It is neither better than I look, nor worse than I look, it just is. Sure, the frizzy hair was photo-shopped out, but basically, I am a head in my hand, smiling kind of girl.

What does this have to do with writing? Everything. The moment we put ourselves out there in print, weather as our creation, or a photograph of the manifestation of our DNA, we are vulnerable. Edward Dahlberg’s statement, “To write is a humiliation” rings true on some level. For me, the bottom line is this: since I can’t imagine a life without writing, I might as well get over the humiliation of it. Besides, I am just not that important.

Public Speaking

The New York Times ran an article quoting a scientific study on why writers don’t make good speakers. It says that when we write, we use more of our brain. When we write, our thinking precedes our writing, but when we talk, we tend to just blurt. In other words, we speak without thinking, but when we write, we think before we write.

I agree with this, as I definitely speak without thinking. However, I have also been known to write without thinking. Hence, I have a policy of not responding to touchy emails without practicing some restraint. Twenty-four hours between bottle and throttle work for pilots; for me it is twenty-four hours between emails and send key.

As for public speaking, I have one word—Toastmasters. The most fun I have in my week is going to my local club. I can see huge changes in my speaking and listening skills. I do believe it is stretching me as a writer, too.

Anyone can visit their local meetings. Grass Valley has four clubs. Check out Toastmasters at www.toastmasters.org