Rules for the Dark Days of Writing

Someone gave me a collection of quotes printed on stickers. They are handy to have around as they make great cards when one wants to send a note to a friend. However, one of the stickers I can't bring myself to use. It's a Sylvia Plath quote, "There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them." Obviously, she found something...

I am in a writing funk. I'll spare you the confession, because I don't want to go all Julie Powell or Elizabeth Gilbert on you, although I admit I envy their success. However, this leads me to the first rule...

Rule #1: Stay true to yourself, even if it means the only thing you write that day is your grocery list. Moods will pass. Good writing will begin again.

Rule #2: Show up, even if it is in your pajamas. Put your derriere in the chair, and even if you have to stare at a blank page, honor your commitment to writing.

Rule #3: Don't compare yourself to other writers. Someone told me that she blogged plus wrote 2000 words daily, plus she has a job, and a family. I am pretty sure she goes to the gym because you can't have a figure like hers if you sit all day. It looked like she got her nails done too. After hearing that, I was ready to go the Sylvia Plath route (not the bath part), but that seemed really stupid, which leads me to the next rule.

Rule # 4: Killing yourself is a career-ender and incredibly ridiculous. Don't even think about it. Call your therapist or 911 if you do.

Rule #5: When you are in a funk, watch TV or read a junkie novel. It'll make you feel smug and bored. The next day, put your seat in the chair and start again.

Rule # 6: If the writing blues don't go away, call a writing friend, sign-up for a class or workshop, or start a blog.

Rule # 7: To break a bad spell, try writing a six-word memoir http://www.smithmag.net/sixwords/ It's a lovely way to have a finished product in your hand. You can hardly say you didn't accomplish anything if you've written a memoir.

Rule # 8: Never, ever, quit. Breaks are okay.

Rule # 9: Buy a new pen. A new pen is like putting our money where our intention is.

Rule # 10: Avoid reading Sylvia Plath, Virginia Woolf, or Ernest Hemingway. It sends the wrong message to our bones. Besides, they are such good writers that if you are inclined to compare yourself to them, you'll end right back where you started.