Christmas Wishes

Dear Santa,

I have been very good this year. I have almost finished my book, and if you saw all that I had to deal with this year, you would be impressed. Assuming you are impressed, then you will probably want to get me everything on my Christmas wish list. I want:

• A hefty gift certificate to the Levinger’s catalog
• A Mac Desktop
• A new book contract
• Lots of comfy pajamas - Pajamas are the one thing that Hugh Heffner got right.  I write better in my pajamas.
• An end to hunger
• World peace

However, if I can only have one thing on my list, please choose between an end to hunger and world peace.

Love,

Lucinda

To my readers, whatever holiday you do or do not follow, I hope it is a merry one.

Exclamations!!!!!

"Exclamation points are the most irritating of all. Look! they say, look at what I just said! How amazing is my thought! It is like being forced to watch someone else’s small child jumping up and down crazily in the center of the living room shouting to attract attention. If a sentence really has something of importance to say, something quite remarkable, it doesn’t need a mark to point it out. And if it is really, after all, a banal sentence needing more zing, the exclamation point simply emphasizes its banality!" 

— Lewis Thomas

 

One of my favorite writing pointers is, “Never use exclamation points unless absolutely necessary!!!!!!” Punctuation is the mortar that holds our words together, but the words are the bricks. You can still build something with bricks and no mortar, but mortar without bricks doesn’t make anything. The goal is to find words that are the exclamation marks.

Speaking of which, exclamation marks used in an email header is a red flag suggesting possible spam. The same is true for capital letters. I delete everything that is capitalized and exclaimed. Spammers take note: “CLAIM YOUR MILION DOLLARS TODAY!!!!” is lousy English. Try, “Claim your million dollars today” Don’t forget to spell check.

Revisions

“I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter.” -  James Michener

I was talking to another writer about writing (what else do writers talk about?). She told me she likes to write, but she loathes revising. I am the opposite. I fall in the Anne Lamott camp of writing – I write shitty first drafts. Rewriting isn’t always fun, but it is so rewarding to watch everything come together. It’s like making a quilt. The first draft is like a bunch of cut up pieces of fabric. The revision is like putting the quilt together, watching all those words magically coming together.

Blog-block

"Yes, it's hard to write, but it's harder not to." - Carl Van Doren

I am experiencing blog-block. Between Thanksgiving, my family being here for 12 days, power outages, and holiday hoopla, my writing has slacked off. Every moment goes to the book, so when I think about blogging, my mind goes numb. Blogging is a commitment, and like all commitments, sometimes there is enthusiasm, sometimes there isn’t. However, the commitment is still there, even if I can’t seem to muster up a single witty comment or insight.

The bottom line is that we must keep writing, no matter what.

Thanksgiving

"To recognize that mystery, we must go down deep into ourselves, into that place where the walls of our being are layered with our own memories. Remember that, as in any pool, when we cast one pebble we will see many, many concentric circles. One memory begets another and then another, building into stories. " - Meinrad Craighead, artist

With all that Thanksgiving brings, I give thanks that it brings a moment to write, to thank, to breathe, and to live. What more is there to write? Thank you, dear readers, thank you.

The Rocking Chair

You must call up every strength you own
And you can rip off the whole facial mask.
excerpted from "After Experience Taught Me..." by W.D. Snodgrass

Usually when I clean the house, my thoughts ramble to anything but the chore I am doing. However, this week I tried to dust in a state of mindfulness. This act opened up my writer’s soul, particularly when I came to the rocking chair, an item which is actually more story than furniture.

I bought the chair in the mid-1970’s while I was a student at Syracuse. In retrospect, I don’t know where I got the money for it, because I was a typical impoverished college student.  The chair is a graceful antique rocker, made of tiger wood maple. The finish was peeling, and years later my husband refinished it, probably not in a way that held the rocker's value as a collectable.  However, its value to me is not in the chair, but in the story; I bought the chair from W.D. Snodgrass, one of the great poets of the 20th century.

Dusting the rocker, I prayed that the legacy of this writer, would tell me the words that I need to be a good writer. Lately I am dancing too much with poor confidence. This will pass, this writer's mood, but so much more quickly when I hold fast to the truth that I am not alone; not alone in writing or living.

www.poetryfoundation.org/bio/w-d-snodgrass

The Restorative Power of Others

"He who does not expect a million readers should not write a line." - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

One of the anchors in my life is my writer’s group - Sierra Writers. After an evening with other writers, I feel like I can do anything, write anything.  These meetings provide fuel for my flagging writer’s soul. If you are not in a writer’s group, I hope you consider finding or forming one.

The Writer’s Body

“Writing books is the closest men ever come to childbearing.” - Norman Mailer

It’s not the writing that is hard—it’s the sitting. I am active, and sitting for hours is unhealthy and hard on my back. My hands, neck, and shoulders don’t like it either. Being a writer is a lot like training for a sport. One needs to be in top physical condition in order to make it to the finish line.  
My advice to anyone who is considering writing as a career choice is this:

• Buy the most comfortable chair you can afford.
• Take frequent breaks and include stretching.
• Make sure you get some form of daily exercise.
• Learn about ergonomics. Make sure your computer is properly placed. From time to time, switch your mouse to your non-dominant hand.
• Since you will spend a lot of time in one place, write in a place that is organized and attractive, unless this distracts you.
• Don’t answer the phone, but if you must, get a headset or Bluetooth device for your phone. Use the time to walk around and get the circulation back into your legs.

Focus and Commitment

“When I stepped from hard manual work to writing, I just stepped from one kind of hard work to another.” — Sean O’Casey

This morning I glanced at my cell phone and noticed that I missed a call from someone who does not call me very often. She did not leave a message, and I wondered if I should return her call. In some ways, technology has created a lot more work for me. In the old days, when cell phones were the size of bricks, I wouldn’t know that someone had called me and decided not to leave a message. But these days, we can’t escape undetected. If I misdial a number and hang up when I realize my mistake, I can expect to hear from someone I don’t know and don’t want to talk to.

What does this have to do with writing? Everything. Writing is an exercise in avoiding distractions. Focus and commitment are the writer’s greatest tools – more important than talent, I believe, because without the discipline, talent is likely to be wasted. Focus and commitment are why I don’t return missed calls. I have better things to do, such as write blogs.

Phone Management

"The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps." - Robert Benchley

Interruptions are the writer’s bane. I can create plenty of interruptions on my own; these don’t seem to fire me up. But when I am in a writing groove, a ringing phone or door-to-door solicitors can make me think about having a shot of bourbon at ten in the morning. Who would have guessed that evangelicals would find me in the middle of nowhere? Since my desk sits next to a window overlooking the front steps, I can’t pretend I am not here. I am polite but firm with everyone who knocks on my door. It is reasonable to smile and ask them to never come back.

The phone is another matter. I am clear about this—I am under no obligation to pick up the phone just because it rings.  When I worked at an office, drawing a paycheck from someone else, I didn’t chat on the phone. I only took urgent calls from my family.  So, why should I answer calls when I am writing at home? This is where I make my money, so why would I let phone interruptions interfere with my livelihood?

I monitor my calls. There are a lot more now that we are closer to the elections. Any call that pops up “private number” or “toll-free number” is not answered.

As for the sound of the phone ringing, I pretend that it is a sacred bell, calling me to be mindful. I breathe and smile three times, grateful that I am not talking to a telemarketer.

So Much to Write

"If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad. As to that regular, uninterrupted love of writing, I do not understand it. I feel it as a torture, which I must get rid of, but never as a pleasure. On the contrary, I think composition a great pain." - Lord Byron

One of the most simultaneously maddening and wonderful thing about being a writer is that there is so much to write. It’s like reading—so many books, so little time. With writing it is:

• So many words, so little time
• So many genres, so little skill
• So many rewrites, but how perfectionistic can I be? Besides, can I ever achieve perfection? Of course not! Just whisper,Faulkner to me and I’m tempted to throw away my pen. That is, until that other voice whispers to me, write.

Other Writers

"It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous." - Robert Benchley

I subscribe to a couple of writing magazines, blogs, and on-line newsletters. Sometimes I devour them; other times I glance at them briefly, too busy to take in new information. My favorite is Writer’s Digest (WD), which I’ve subscribed to for a million years (yes, I used a chisel to write). Usually there is no earth-shattering writing in WD, but it is a touchstone for me. When I read interviews of other writers, I see that they struggle over some of the same issues that I did or do. It’s just like the old adage about the rich and famous—they still put their pants on one leg at a time.

So if the fact that I struggle with the same obstacles that other writers confront makes me a writer, then I guess I qualify. However, unlike Benchley, I am not famous.

Writing Instruments

To hold a pen is to be at war. — Voltaire

I believe that Voltaire meant, to write is to be at war, presumably at war with oneself, although he could have been referring to the slogan, the pen is mightier than the sword. I am digressing. Here is what I really want to say—if Voltaire were alive, he would have said, to use a computer is to be at war. I realize that the computer is a convenience, but ONLY WHEN IT WORKS!!! Sorry for yelling—things have been building up.

When I turned 50, my husband gave me a Mont Blanc pen. It is an instrument of peace and meditation.  This week I could not find refills at any store in Grass Valley, so I ordered some online. When I am frustrated with my computer, there is nothing like writing with a favorite pen. It is to be at peace. However, to be out of ink is dangerous business, especially if one is already in computer-heck.

These are luxury problems. The bottom line is I am blessed by so much. How lucky I am to have a computer and a pen.

How We Treat Books

Recently a group of acquaintances confessed that they don’t ever, ever write in their books—not even text books! They were taught to respect books and it was nothing short of sacrilegious to deface a book. I said nothing, afraid they would discover my secret—that I write in books. They expressed such disdain for book graffiti that I would have probably copped to picking my nose before admitting I am a passage highlighter. 

Fortunately George Bernard Shaw came to my rescue:

As soon as I open [a book], I occupy the book, I stomp around in it. I underline passages, scribble in the margins, leave my mark. . . . I like to be able to hear myself responding to a book, answering it, agreeing and disagreeing in a manner I recognize as peculiarly my own.
— George Bernard Shaw

I was kidding about the nose...

Hopelessly Writing

It’s been a busy week, so this will be shorter than short. I read this wonderful quote that sums me up and I am passing it along: “You see, in my view, a writer is a writer not because she writes well and easily, because she has amazing talent, because everything she does is golden. In my view a writer is a writer because even when there is no hope, even when nothing you do shows any sign of promise, you keep writing anyway.” – Junot Diaz, author of The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

I am still writing...

Procrastination Redux

"The thing all writers do best is find ways to avoid writing." — Alan Dean Foster

I was getting behind on my personal deadline that I set for writing my book. This morning I got up early and was making huge progress. I took a coffee break, which for me means stopping long enough to make a cup and then bring it to my desk. I spilled coffee on my keyboard, and while cleaning it out I was horrified. My mind starting imaging the cesspool that was under the keys—a place where my fingers virtually live—and I just HAD to clean it. Between toothpicks, cotton swabs and alcohol, I freshened the thing up.

Then I remembered this quote I heard this week, something about how all writers feel the urge to procrastinate. The successful writers are the ones that write despite the urges. It was stated more eloquently than this, so then I spent a bunch of time trying to find the quote. After looking through the magazines I read recently, I did an Internet search. When I put “writing procrastination” in the search field, there were more than a million results, and as much as I wanted to find that quote, I could not justify further procrastination. After all, didn’t I get the point of the quote?

So, I decided to blog about it. If I am going to procrastinate, I might as well turn the experience into material…

Happy Labor Day

It is Labor Day weekend and I am laboring. Writing is not so hard, but sitting in the chair is. Apparently other writers thought that writing was difficult. Here are a few examples:

"Let's face it, writing is hell." - William Styron

"Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead."
- Gene Fowler

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." - Ernest Hemingway

"Writing is a dreadful labor, yet not so dreadful as Idleness." - Thomas Carlyle

Since I don’t think writing is too awfully hard, it probably means I am a mediocre writer. That’s okay, I’d rather be an ordinary writer and still bask in the pleasure it brings me. If I ever get so good that I feel like I am hemorrhaging, go ahead and cauterize my brain.

Dem Dashes

In the past year I have spent a surprising amount of time either looking up or discussing dashes. Yes, dashes: hyphens, em dashes, and en dashes. Or put another way—hyphens, em dashes, and en dashes.

Before I write about the differences between the three, permit me to say the obvious; don’t I have better things to do? Do I have so much free time that I can spend it pouring over the pages of The Chicago Manual of Style?

I am not really a grammar geek. I rely heavily on the graciousness of others who paid attention in English class. However, it drives my editor nuts when I use the wrong key on my computer, leaving him to have to use a magnifying glass to proof my newsletter column.

I provided a link (Get it Write) so you can get a good explanation of the differences between the three, but here is a basic explanation:

• A hyphen is the shortest of the dashes and it is usually used between numbers (like your phone number) or to connect words, such as mean-spirited.
• The en dash is slightly longer than the hyphen. It replaces the word through, such as Monday – Friday.
• The em dash is the longest of the dashes and creates a break in a thought—such as this sentence—in order to separate a phrase.

And that is all I am saying about dashes for the rest of the year, unless I am talking about dashing through the snow or dashing off to a show.

Torturing Phrases

I revel in the prospect of being able to torture a phrase once more.  — S. J. Perelman

My best friend teaches grammar, and I have learned more from her about grammar than I ever learned in school. This week she gave me a lesson in commas. She wrote, “FANBOYS. That stands for for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so.  When you have two clauses connected by one of those conjunctions, you use a comma.  Example:  I like chocolate, and I like vanilla, too.  I like chocolate, but I don't like vanilla. The important thing to remember is that a clause has a subject and a verb. If there's no subject and verb, it's not a clause, and you probably don't need a comma.”

This is what I love about her—she makes it so simple. Unfortunately, when it comes to putting her lessons into practice, I fall back on old habits. It’s just easier to hope that someone else will catch my mistakes before they are published rather than to look up everything. That sounds awful, but it is the simple truth. I am just way too busy writing to learn how to write well.

Because I torture the English language, does this mean I am a linguistical sadist or a sadistic linguist?

Images

"To write is a humiliation." -  Edward Dahlberg

Some of you noticed my new photo, taken by Alicia Berardi of Ivy Photographers. It will be the photo for my book cover and promotion. My youngest stepson James said, “This looks like it belongs on the inside jacket of a New York Times bestseller.” Now that is what I call positive thinking.

I have mixed feelings about the photo. It seems very mature, as in conservative, middle-aged, middle class, WASP. It did not help that my very best friend in the world, the kind of friend that you want to have because she is the kind of friend who would tell you that you are getting fat and would notice if there is hair growing out of your ears, asked me if I wanted feedback on the photo. We’ve known each other almost 50 years, so I knew that she didn’t like the photo, so I declined the offer.

What I like about the photo, is that it matches how I see myself. It is neither better than I look, nor worse than I look, it just is. Sure, the frizzy hair was photo-shopped out, but basically, I am a head in my hand, smiling kind of girl.

What does this have to do with writing? Everything. The moment we put ourselves out there in print, weather as our creation, or a photograph of the manifestation of our DNA, we are vulnerable. Edward Dahlberg’s statement, “To write is a humiliation” rings true on some level. For me, the bottom line is this: since I can’t imagine a life without writing, I might as well get over the humiliation of it. Besides, I am just not that important.

Public Speaking

The New York Times ran an article quoting a scientific study on why writers don’t make good speakers. It says that when we write, we use more of our brain. When we write, our thinking precedes our writing, but when we talk, we tend to just blurt. In other words, we speak without thinking, but when we write, we think before we write.

I agree with this, as I definitely speak without thinking. However, I have also been known to write without thinking. Hence, I have a policy of not responding to touchy emails without practicing some restraint. Twenty-four hours between bottle and throttle work for pilots; for me it is twenty-four hours between emails and send key.

As for public speaking, I have one word—Toastmasters. The most fun I have in my week is going to my local club. I can see huge changes in my speaking and listening skills. I do believe it is stretching me as a writer, too.

Anyone can visit their local meetings. Grass Valley has four clubs. Check out Toastmasters at www.toastmasters.org

What’s the Worst Thing about Being a Writer?

“I hate writing, but I love having written.” -  Dorothy Parker

This week I look at the dark side of writing. For me, the worst thing about writing is when I can’t do it. Generally this manifests in one of two ways. In one, I have the desire to write but I am in a place where it is inconvenient to do so. This may happen when I am driving, engaged in a social event that requires my attention, or just as my head hits the pillow. A poem or a story pops into my head, along with a longing to drop everything so I can write. It is like unrequited love; I feel the longing but I can’t do much about it.

The other frustration about writing is when I just can’t think of words. This week I hit this type of wall. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it is maddening. It’s like I had a stroke and I can’t find words. The remedy for this is to write anyway, and to ignore the form. For example, say I want to describe my experience climbing a mountain, but I am plagued by aphasia. I can start writing and labor over every word, but this usually end as being quite unproductive—much like a scratch on a record—I keep saying the same thing over again. It works best if instead, I plow ahead. I might write, “The mountain was xxx, and I loved breathing the cool air. My heart was beating fast, as I climbed the xxx path.” The x’s represent words I can’t think of and clearly the writing is crap. However, this method keeps me moving, and eventually I get past the stuck part. I can always clean up the style on the rewrite.

What don’t you like about being a writer?

What’s the Best Thing about Being a Writer?

“We work in the dark—we give what we can—we give what we have. Our doubt is our passion and our passion is our task. The rest is the madness of art.” - Henry James

Recently, Oprah magazine interviewed six writers. One of the interview questions was, “What’s the best thing about being a writer?” The answers varied. Mary Gaitskill replied, “The best thing about writing is being able to clearly express things in a way you can’t express in conversation.” Jeffrey Eugenides said, “It’s that, no matter how long you’ve been at it, you always start from scratch.”  Then Eugenides supplied the Henry James quote that I used above.

For me, the best thing about writing is the craft. Perhaps wordsmithing describes it best. It’s the organization, the choice, the tone, and the rhythm.  It is the play of vowel upon consonant, the thought which can be sculpted so many different ways, and the evolution of ideas. I just like to write.

What do you like about being a writer?

Procrastination

"The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair."
- Mary Heaton Vorse

Many writers are all too familiar with the devils of writing: distraction and procrastination. When I first got the idea of writing a book, I’d sit down, and think, “I can’t write until I clean up my desk. While I am here, I might as well pay my bills. All my pencils need sharpening (Although I write on a computer), and now that I am here, I might as well alphabetize my book collection.” By then it was time for lunch, and when I finished eating, it would be time to polish the silver.

And so it went, until I finally understood the advice given by every serious writer: In order to be a writer, you must write. Walter Mosley, Caroline See, and a host of other writers say that you must write just about every day.

For me, daily writing is the only defense against procrastination.

Landmarks

The desire to write grows with writing. — Erasmus

I am officially half way through the first draft of my book. Earlier this week when I saw this landmark ahead of me, I imagined myself crossing it with great fanfare. I even dangled a carrot ahead of me, promising my husband dinner out if I finished this chapter. What I didn’t see coming is this: I’d rather stay home and write some more than go out. Writing is not a chore; it is a pleasure (mostly). It’s like when I was a kid playing with friends during the summer, and my mother calls me home to have dinner. I didn’t want to stop for dinner; I was having way too much fun.

Unhumility

“Writers must fortify themselves with pride and egotism as best they can. The process is analogous to using sandbags and loose timbers to protect a house against flood. Writers are vulnerable creatures like anyone else. For what do they have in reality? Not sandbags, not timbers. Just a flimsy reputation and a name.” - Brian Aldiss

In my last post, I extolled the virtues of humility, pooh-poohing the prestige often associated with being a writer. Well, all pretense of humility was put to the test this week, and let me state unequivocally that I have a robust ego.

It happened during a phone call. I had to call my publisher for some information and he was out of town. My question was general, and I explained to the telephone receptionist that I thought my question could be answered by someone else. Before routing me to the correct person, she asked, “Are you one of our authors?” And of course I answered, “Yes.”

My head has been huge all week. Every once in awhile I swagger a bit, reciting to myself, “I am an AUTHOR. How cool is that!” I haven’t even finished the book, let alone published it, but I am floating.

This week I had the photo taken, ostensibly for promotional purposes, but presumably for my book jacket. Actually, I should say cover since this will be a paperback and there won’t be a jacket on it. I purchased the electronic rights, so when I get it, I’ll post it to my blog.

Humility

“All a writer has to do to get a woman is to say he's a writer. It's an aphrodisiac.” -  Saul Bellow

Fairly frequently, I will find myself in a social situation where a friend will introduce me to someone, and say, "Lucinda is a writer." I downplay it. Somewhere along the way, I learned to feign modesty, as if the mere fact that I admit I am a writer will make me look boastful.

There are three problems with this. First, I am a writer. It's no big deal. I am also a nurse. If someone said, "Lucinda is a nurse," I wouldn't do the sideways glance and claim I am not really. Can you imagine if you were a hospitalized patient and your nurse said she wasn't really a nurse? What the heck is she doing in your room with a syringe filled with pain medicine if she isn't a nurse? And what the heck is it that I am doing with pen and paper and computer and my butt firmly grounded in my chair for hours every day if it isn't writing? And if I am writing, then ergo, I am a writer.

Second, there is some sort of misplaced prestige in being a writer. It doesn't make sense. I think we should worship teachers, nurses, daycare workers, garbage collectors, and fire fighters, but writers? It doesn't make any sense.

Third, I have a problem with false modesty. The bottom line is, even though I don't think that writing is a noble profession, I certainly don't have to deny I am a writer. Golda Meir said, "Don't be so humble; you're not that great."  She's right.

The bottom line is that it doesn't matter what I do, so much as who I am.

Seeking Balance

The feature article of the May/June issue of Writer's Digest is "101 Best Websites for Writers." Normally I would welcome this information, but not now; I am over-saturated with technology and the non-creative side of writing. The last few weeks have been devoted to my publishing contract, filling in details for the marketing department, finding a photographer, revisions and non-book related writing. Plus my book, although important to me, does not satisfy my prose needs. So, this week I ordered five more Mary Oliver books, and pre-ordered her next one (due in September). Her words keep me in the center of what it means to be alive and to be a writer.

I will file away this issue of Writer's Digest for future reference. If I need a diversion, I can check out creativewritingprompts.com. For now, I am shunning diversions - I need focus and equilibrium. Apparently, I am not alone in my quest for balance, and equally apparent is that the Internet is not the only distraction. Euripides wrote about it in 400 BC. He must have been a writer. I wonder how he would have survived our cyber-world.

"The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man."  Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC)

The Grace of Writing

"When we write about what matters to us most, words will take us places we don't want to go. You begin to see that you will have to say things you don't want to say, that may even be dangerous to say, but are absolutely necessary." - Kathleen Norris, Amazing Grace


Last weekend I attended a mindfulness meditation retreat. It was an exquisite forty-eight hours of beauty, good food and blissful silence. Returning home, I avoided the bells, whistles, and traps of life, for at least a day. Now, they are quieting creeping in, and I am applying counterbalance with meditation, gratitude, and other spiritual practices.

Writing is one of these practices. Since the bulk of my writing is non-fiction, hepatitis C stuff, I turn to haiku, poetry, journal-writing, and creative essay in order to reach that deep inner knowing, the place of grace. Grace is when words flow, when truth is so utterly apparent that it can be nothing else.

There are other ways to access these places. Reading is one. Meditation is another. But, I am a writer, and nothing satisfies me as much as pen and paper - not even in this electronic age.

More True Confessions

“I love my computer solitaire. I could, without thinking for half a second, tell you about a half dozen writers I know who are completely addicted. Computer solitaire—it’s the dirty little secret of the literary world.” - Francine Prose, Reading Like a Writer

Oh thank goodness for the brave writers who tell the truth. Last month I told you about pajamas. This week, it is computer solitaire. Actually, the earth shattering news is not that I play it, rather than the fact that I had to give it up. It was becoming an obsession; I couldn’t quit unless I won. It was digging into my sleep and I was waking up late, a bit listless. I gave it up last year by actually REMOVING the program from my computer. It was the only way. I didn’t go through any withdrawal.

Every once in awhile, I find myself sitting at my husband’s computer, moving cards around on the screen…

Memorial Day

I am in utter awe of the men and women who are serving or have served our country. Although I am fundamentally against war, I honor the memory of those who gave their lives. It was easy to oppose the wars in Vietnam and the Middle East. I don’t know how I would have felt about war if I had lived during the Civil War or WWII. It’s easy to be a pacifist when there isn’t a gun at my head.

My grandfather fought in WWI. My mother had flowers placed on his grave every Memorial Day. Now that she is gone, it is my privilege to honor this tradition. I called the florist in Pennsylvania, and made the arrangements. What amazes me about this is that I am honoring a man who fought in a war that happened nearly 100 years ago. It’s amazing to think that I knew someone who had fought in WWI. I recall my father saying that he talked to someone who had lived during the Civil War. To think that we can still touch history – now that is truly remarkable.

We write to remember, because if we don’t, we will lose these connections.

Memorial Day
spilled blood gone from the fields
poppies bow their heads

Writing through Grief

I have been out of blog-commission due to the death of my mother. I really admire people who can write or blog no matter what the circumstances. I am not like that. I wrote in my journal about my mother's death, mostly because I wanted to remember it. She was surrounded by family and friends, and it was as lovely a death as I have ever seen. However, blogging was the last thing on my mind.

A recent episode of House featured a patient who was an avid blogger. She blogged personal details about her life, through her illness, and pending death. (Dr. House figured out what was wrong with her and she didn't die.) It was interesting to see the extremes blogging can take us to.

Despite my reserve, I can see the point of blogging. It is a way to connect, to establish a network, and to communicate. It is also a legacy. We get to decide how personal we want to make it. The funeral industry understands this, as evidenced by the opportunity it gave our family to create a place where people could leave condolences to us on the Internet. This was free, but for a fee, we could have made a permanent web-based legacy.

We made a slide show of photos along with my mother's favorite song, and played this at her memorial service. It was moving, and although a part of me wants to create a lasting tribute to her memory, it is not going to be with a 2 minute slide show or a blog entry. The legacy is in how I conduct my life. I can't think of a greater tribute.

True Confessions

“. . . a thermos of tea, a quiet room, in the early morning hours.”
       — Carson McCullers

I love Carson McCullers even more now that I know we share the same secrets of writing. I have one more to add: pajamas. If I start writing in my pajamas, I don’t stop to change my clothes. I might work in my jammies well into the day. Why not! I think pajamas make me a better writer. First, I am comfortable, and second, it states my priorities. It’s my announcement to the world that writing is more important than appearances. Fortunately I live in the country and do not receive door-to-door solicitors. But if I did, I’d still be in my jammies. In fact, I love my pajamas so much that I might wear them for the photo of my book jacket.

Did you know that pajamas were worn by Muslims in India and adopted by Europeans? Thank goodness for travel. If no one explored the world, I’d be writing in a dress.

Dangling Conversations

“Writing, when properly managed…is but a different name for conversation.” – Laurence Sterne, 18th century novelist

I suppose that if Mr. Sterne were alive today, he’d be blogging. Blogging has more of a sense of a conversation, particularly when I receive comments. I do appreciate them, and although I don’t usually reply to each, I am thrilled to receive them.

On my last post, I received a comment which prompted me to check out the blog of one of my followers. (Gee whiz – “one of my followers” sounds kind of creepy – like I am a cult leader or he is a stalker. Perhaps “reader” is a better description.) Anyway, he has a wonderful blog, and this is where the “conversation” really begins. By reading his blog, I got a sense of who might read something I wrote. I mean someone I don’t know, someone who isn’t a friend, and has no need to be kind. Someone who is busy too and yet takes a moment to read something I crafted.

Sure seems like a huge responsibility. Yes, writing must be properly managed or there will be no conversation.

Thank you for reading my blog. Thank you even more for responding.

If you have a moment, check out his blog The Church of the Open Road

Sabbath Time

 "Beware the barrenness of a busy life." - Socrates

When I was a child, Sundays were a day of rest, for everyone except my mother. She'd get up early to prepare Sunday dinner, because by the time we got home from church, there was very little time to pull everything together. Sunday dinners were feasts.

These days, I still honor the concept of the Sabbath. I may still spend some time writing, but it is usually writing for my soul. Or, in this case, blogging for my soul. In 2010, time off has a different meaning. The question is, should it? Between email, cell phones, surfing the Web, the news, blogs, Twitter, and Facebook, I feel entirely too connected.

There is a fantastic article by Anne Lamott in the April 2010 Sunset. She writes, "Multitasking can argue a wasted life." She urges readers to, "Fight tooth and nail to find time, to make it. It is our true wealth, this moment, this hour, this day."

One of the Ten Commandments is, remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. For me, checking my email is not holy. Blogging is. We get to decide what is holy. We also get to decide when and how we are going to care for ourselves. The most important part is that it restores us so we can face the rest of the week. I also think that time off makes me a better writer.

Polishing Our Craft

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." - Anne Rice

This month our writer's group held an open read for the public. This is an opportunity for writers to bring in their work. It is submitted anonymously and critiqued by everyone. For new writers, it takes more courage than one can imagine. The work was of very high caliber, so we were treated to excellent writing.

The critique process is a vital part of being a writer. Without it, my work would look like an unpolished stone. The feedback can turn a rock into a sparkling gem.  At first, I felt tumbled about, like a rock in a washing machine. Now it feels more like a vigorous massage. I am grateful it doesn't cause my stomach to churn - just my mind.

Making Origami out of the Paperwork

"I love being a writer, what I can't stand is the paperwork." - Peter De Vries

Some days, writing feels like 90% paperwork and 10% creativity. Then there are days like today when it is all paperwork. My editor and friend at the Hepatitis C Support Project mentioned something about annually updating the patient pamphlets I’ve written. Innocently, I offered to make a log of these to remind me of the anniversary dates. What was I thinking!!! I’ve written about 100 of these. Just doing an Excel spreadsheet took me an hour.

I had a little talk with my protesting self. “There, there,” I said. “There are worse things you could be doing with your time. I’ll make you a hot cup of chai, put on some jazz, and after you are done, you can turn this all into a blog.”  As it rained down on my beautiful Grass Valley view, I hummed away, content and honored to be a writer.

Happy April Fool’s Day

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." - Anne Rice

April Fool’s Day is the perfect day for writers, since we frequently make fools of ourselves every time we pick up the pen. In fact, April 1st is a perfect day to remind myself not to take myself too seriously—especially my writing. On my desk is the following quote by Bertrand Russell, “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” On this day of laughter and pranks, let’s make fools of ourselves. It’s a delightful way to avoid a nervous breakdown.

Being in the Flow

"Work will trump talent."- Dorothy Allison

Some days, writing flows out of me like water. I call it being in the flow. Nearly always, I get here because I sit down and write - not because I am inspired to write - but because I am committed to the vocation. Some days it is harder than others, but this week it is easy. In fact, everything is flowing so well, I am drowning in delicious words and possibilities.

What is especially exciting is that I am working on a new book. The one that is nearly written will wait. I know this sounds foolish, but I know in my bones that this book needs to be written first in order to smooth the way for the other book. Even more exciting is the fact that I know I can do this.

Perseverance

"English novelist John Creasey received 763 rejection slips before publishing 564 books. Get over rejection. He did." - Bill O'Hanlon, Write is a Verb

My agent told me that two publishers were interested in my book. Although this is good news, they both wanted me to write a different book than the one that is nearly completed. Not exactly the same as starting from scratch, but not far from it. I agonized for a couple days, wondering what to do. Fortunately both publishers were wonderful. They encouraged me beyond my expectations. I felt mentored and lavished with possibility. In the end I decided where I was headed and who I wanted to work with. I am excited about getting back to work. Right now I am in Albuquerque, taking care of my mother. My mother's perseverance keeps me focused. If she can fight so hard to live, I can certainly write a book.

Rules for the Dark Days of Writing

Someone gave me a collection of quotes printed on stickers. They are handy to have around as they make great cards when one wants to send a note to a friend. However, one of the stickers I can't bring myself to use. It's a Sylvia Plath quote, "There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them." Obviously, she found something...

I am in a writing funk. I'll spare you the confession, because I don't want to go all Julie Powell or Elizabeth Gilbert on you, although I admit I envy their success. However, this leads me to the first rule...

Rule #1: Stay true to yourself, even if it means the only thing you write that day is your grocery list. Moods will pass. Good writing will begin again.

Rule #2: Show up, even if it is in your pajamas. Put your derriere in the chair, and even if you have to stare at a blank page, honor your commitment to writing.

Rule #3: Don't compare yourself to other writers. Someone told me that she blogged plus wrote 2000 words daily, plus she has a job, and a family. I am pretty sure she goes to the gym because you can't have a figure like hers if you sit all day. It looked like she got her nails done too. After hearing that, I was ready to go the Sylvia Plath route (not the bath part), but that seemed really stupid, which leads me to the next rule.

Rule # 4: Killing yourself is a career-ender and incredibly ridiculous. Don't even think about it. Call your therapist or 911 if you do.

Rule #5: When you are in a funk, watch TV or read a junkie novel. It'll make you feel smug and bored. The next day, put your seat in the chair and start again.

Rule # 6: If the writing blues don't go away, call a writing friend, sign-up for a class or workshop, or start a blog.

Rule # 7: To break a bad spell, try writing a six-word memoir http://www.smithmag.net/sixwords/ It's a lovely way to have a finished product in your hand. You can hardly say you didn't accomplish anything if you've written a memoir.

Rule # 8: Never, ever, quit. Breaks are okay.

Rule # 9: Buy a new pen. A new pen is like putting our money where our intention is.

Rule # 10: Avoid reading Sylvia Plath, Virginia Woolf, or Ernest Hemingway. It sends the wrong message to our bones. Besides, they are such good writers that if you are inclined to compare yourself to them, you'll end right back where you started.